Soulfully Tech-savvy Pillows

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

God's Phone

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

Holy phone

End of world nigh!!!

"Do you know of any good empathy apps?"

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Palm Top Readings

'Yourplace.com or mine?'

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"I can accept Mum's gone, but I can't bring myself to press 'delete'."

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

'Romeo, Romeo, wi-fi art thou, Romeo...'

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."