Soulfully Tech-savvy Gifts

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

God's Phone

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

Holy phone

"Do you know of any good empathy apps?"

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

End of world nigh!!!

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

'Yourplace.com or mine?'

Palm Top Readings

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

"I am in the moment - just not the moment you're in."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."