Tech-savvy Spirituality Gifts

Holy phone

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

First O.M.G. church.

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

Cable Bill.

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

You Have 1 New Messages

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Plugged In

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Palm Top Readings

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"I'm going on a retreat."

Binary meditation.

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

'Well, he's back from tech support.'