Soul Scrubber T-Shirts

'The other reason your soul feels so clean is become someone put too much laundry detergent in the washing machine, again...'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Woman simutaneously playing the cello and washing man in bath's back

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I haven't felt that overwhelming urge to create, but then again I haven't felt much of anything lately."

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

Phil uses all seven tiles in Scrabble and ascends to heaven

'Honestly, Geraldine, you're not like any other penguin I've ever met.'

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Existential Risk

The Anti-Materialist

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

"Yeah, well, we've all got baggage."

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"The meaning of life at a glance"

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

"You'll find it's lonely at the top."

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

Bob Dylan

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'I hate chick flicks!' 'Sniff...me too...'

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."