Sophisticated Soiree Enthusiast T-Shirts

Sloaney Pony.

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"You do like octopus?"

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

'Sorry there's no food. We were kind of hoping you'd bring some.'

'My daddy thinks you're really funny. He's always telling mommy about the clown he works for!'

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

"We'd invite you to our place in the country but we're having it torched."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

Girl who had a bowl of trifle spilt over her dress at her court presentation party the night before

"Thank God you're here. Walter has been Barry Manilowing us to death."

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

"They're boulettes de viande. They're meatballs. They're balls of meat."

An expedition to get ice for the party.

"There's something you haven't told me."