Song Selector Extraordinaire T-Shirts

"Our top story: People all over the world have stopped fighting, and will join together in a chorus of peace and love! This just in: Fighting erupts over what song to sing."

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

Birds with Headphones

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

Musical genres

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

"I've downsized."

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

"I get paid by the word."

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

"That's cute, but you'll never realize your phone's ringing in here if your ringtone's a belch."

"Jimmy crack corn and I'm upset... Nope, nope, too honest..."

Air guitar. Air lighters.

"New Yorkie...New Yorkie..."

Church sign states congregation can't decide on carpet color.

Desert Island Downloads

"Oh god, he's going for the jukebox!"

"You're a good listener. You hear my feelings."

Bad review

"Good grief Betty, that's just the sort of pace the Test Selectors are looking for."

'How do these glasses feel?'

Unauthorised energy saving.

'How to make two yarmulke out of one Brassiere.'

"My husband is a very good listener."

Merry Christmas Tra la la la la

'Any chance you could block out the home shopping network.'

" "I decided my life needs a soundtrack. So I programmed my phone to play specific tunes whenever certain people are nearby."