Song Lyric Ponderer Gifts

"Don't ask me. I don't know what 'my country 'tis of thee' means, either."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"He's his own worst enemy."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Max Weber

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

Writer

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Have you noticed how the grass is always greener on the other side?'

Shakespeare considers alternatives to iambic pentameter

Three Wise Monkeys with MP3 players: Hear no evil, hear no evil, hear no evil

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

Mega Studios. Ideas for new movies dept. Stop goofing off and watch some television!

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.