Song Lyric Ponderer T-Shirts

"Don't ask me. I don't know what 'my country 'tis of thee' means, either."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"He's his own worst enemy."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Max Weber

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

Writer

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Have you noticed how the grass is always greener on the other side?'

Three Wise Monkeys with MP3 players: Hear no evil, hear no evil, hear no evil

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'As is the fashion these days, it's about nothing.'

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Shakespeare considers alternatives to iambic pentameter

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.