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"Highness. Majesty. Sovereign. Liege. Monarch. I think I like sovereign best."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Shakespeare was bisexual

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"What if it's smarter than us?"

'As is the fashion these days, it's about nothing.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"Well I think the Real question is..."

Robot Attack in Bath

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Ode to Nature.

"I've changed the company's name, Edith. Ours, of course, will remain the same."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"I want my job back."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

'I have problems following my wife's plot lines.'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"They're some kind of robot, perhaps artificially intelligent."

"Don't ask me. I don't know what 'my country 'tis of thee' means, either."

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'

Film critic critics