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tell it on the mountain

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"He's his own worst enemy."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"But what if this is all there is?"

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

Max Weber

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

Writer

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Have you noticed how the grass is always greener on the other side?'

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Three Wise Monkeys with MP3 players: Hear no evil, hear no evil, hear no evil

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.