Solo Performer Enthusiast T-Shirts

Teamwork: "He's not good at playing well with others."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"Balloon animals $5.00"

"Yikes. I'm on in five minutes and still haven't figured out my character's motivation."

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

'Son I want you to Follow in My Footsteps.'

Can Can

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

"Music has doubled my income..."

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

"That is today's special, sir, Spanish lobster flamenco."

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

"No, see...it's more like this...now that's funny!"

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

"Instead of a three-hour play with 20 performers, what about a single performer, alone onstage, telling jokes for 30 minutes?"

'Pension fund performance, please give generously.'

"Okay. . . Where DID the elephant go?. . ."

"My daughter tells me that you work in the entertainment industry?"

'Get out of the way, you drunken mime!'

"My one man play is now in the west end. I play Lee Harvey Oswald."

"50p or I sing that high bit of Bridge over troubled water"

Open Mic Night

Dancing with your hands up

"You have the right to remain inanimate, but anything you do mime may be used against you in a court of law"

'I like your suit - just what I need when I ask my boss for a raise!'

Mime Artist Begging Without Words

A fuzzy monster plays ping pong with himself

Violinist

'You gotta love a swing state.'