Solo Performer Enthusiast Gifts

Teamwork: "He's not good at playing well with others."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Darling, I never realised how talented you weren't!"

"Balloon animals $5.00"

Young lady telling a young man he is not singing low enough.

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

'Son I want you to Follow in My Footsteps.'

Can Can

"Yikes. I'm on in five minutes and still haven't figured out my character's motivation."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

"Music has doubled my income..."

"That is today's special, sir, Spanish lobster flamenco."

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

"He sings for charity. He has to. Nobody offers to pay him."

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

"No, see...it's more like this...now that's funny!"

'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

'Pension fund performance, please give generously.'

"Instead of a three-hour play with 20 performers, what about a single performer, alone onstage, telling jokes for 30 minutes?"

"My daughter tells me that you work in the entertainment industry?"

"Okay. . . Where DID the elephant go?. . ."

'Get out of the way, you drunken mime!'

"My one man play is now in the west end. I play Lee Harvey Oswald."

"50p or I sing that high bit of Bridge over troubled water"

Mime Artist Begging Without Words

"You have the right to remain inanimate, but anything you do mime may be used against you in a court of law"

Open Mic Night

'I like your suit - just what I need when I ask my boss for a raise!'

Dancing with your hands up

A fuzzy monster plays ping pong with himself

Violinist

'You gotta love a swing state.'