Solitary Shopper T-Shirts

"That's it?"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'She's so put together!'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Everything's gone up."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'She's on the trail of a pair of Jimmy Choo's.'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

"Delivery."

Fashion Mistake.

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

It was an impulse buy.

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

Guilty Pleasures

Seven deadly sins store

"You went to Barneys without me? You slut!"

"I can't believe I spent seven million dollars on tights."