Solitary Golfer Pillows

Desert island putting green.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Golf lessons

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

Senior PGA Moment.

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

'Don't move.'

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

Delusional Golfer's Optical Illusion

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

"Thank you."

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

'Birdie.'

The natural selection process in golf.

"Duh!"

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

"At least my putting has improved."

"My handicap? I'm a poor loser."

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

'Where's your other glove?'

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

It's my golf night out with the boys!

'What club do you think I should use? I don't know sir, I don't play golf either'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Luckily I hit the pin!

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

'I'm like a caddy at your beck and call !'