Bored Golfer Pillows

'Actually, it's funny you should say that - I'm bored stupid too.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

"Baseball is boring."

"At least my putting has improved."

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

Let's see, that is one..two..three shots into the water.

Too many beers at lunch?

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

"I'm going to bed, I have an early tee time tomorrow."

"My kind of course."

"I don't think I'm ever going to get a hole in one!"

"Dad, get your own sandbox!"

"Somewhere we must have strayed off the course."

"So he pulls out a 1 iorn, see? I say to him. Bob I says, not even God can hit a 1 iron. Then, there was a flash of light and boom!"

'Replace divots'

'It wouldn't be so bad to play golf in winter if the balls were just another color.'

How to write your golf game off as a business expense.

'You had enough power in our cell phone to make one last call, and instead of getting us rescued, you cancel your tee-time?'

Remember that club you threw last month and couldn't find?

2042

"He missed a hole-in-one by an inch and a half."

'It looks like I'm finally going to break 70.. this is my 69th club I've broken.'

'I'm your best friend, so I'll be honest-- do yourself a favor and take up ping-pong.'

'A remote controlled golf ball! Yes, of course!'

A bored unshaven guard sat on a chair.

Desert island putting green.

'It seemed like a great place to set up shop, in case things won't work out well next door'

For sale - used only once.

'Fore!'

'I thought you said you wanted me to get the crab grass out of the yard!'

Golf Practice.

'How many times have I told you not to play in this weather? I'm getting tired of thawing you out.'