Soil Philosophers T-Shirts

"You've never planted a garden before, have you?"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

'That plant food really works!'

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

User friendly soil.

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Worm Appreciation Society!

'Boy this is a great garden: You can taste the natural compost and fertilizer...'

Earthly Delights Garden Centre

I'm looking for a job?

'Try to relax, Ed. It's a beach, not sandy soil.'

'I think we found the spot where you spilled the fertilizer.'

A misery of mole hills

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

I lactate, therefore I am.

'Anything else need tying up?'

'I find that an hour in the compost pile provides my minimum daily requirement of everything.'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

"Oh, boy! My favorite! plotting soil!"

'So aunt Lois I hear you've developed quite a green thumb.'