Soil Investigator Gifts

"For the second night in a row, someone has mysteriously added soil to my vegetable patch - the plot thickens!"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"It says here that people can't live without soil. I knew it!"

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

'That plant food really works!'

Planting veggies

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

Trumpled

User friendly soil.

'He may have green fingers, but he's got dirty finger nails!'

'Try to relax, Ed. It's a beach, not sandy soil.'

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

I'm looking for a job?

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Earthly Delights Garden Centre

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'Boy this is a great garden: You can taste the natural compost and fertilizer...'

Worm Appreciation Society!

'I think we found the spot where you spilled the fertilizer.'

'I find that an hour in the compost pile provides my minimum daily requirement of everything.'

"Oh, boy! My favorite! plotting soil!"

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

'So aunt Lois I hear you've developed quite a green thumb.'