Soil Analyst Gifts

"I'd say pre-war gin, but let's stick to acceptable levels of ethanol in the report."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Light Bulb Moment

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

Think Tank

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"Was that my pager or yours?"

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

Six Thinking Hats