Software Savvy Gifts

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

e-shoes

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Weird things I do because of the internet

Relaxing in the Sun

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

I.T. Fear

'When I took this job, I had no idea how much it would cut into my quality, family texting time.'

Where was I?

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

Back in my day, we were drawn with ink on paper, not on some fancy digital pad, but at least we knew we existed.

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

Aladdin conjures up a virtual genie.

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Early Learning Today

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Mr Jones is not seeing anyone in person. Do you have a webcam?

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

CCTV in church.

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"What makes you question our motives for coming here?"

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'