Soft Food Gourmet T-Shirts

'Mushy peas? And would you like your cod and chips likewise, sir?

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

LAY ZEE FUK

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

His Her Cakes

French wine

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

To do before Saturday...

Too much cilantro

The Main Types of Cheese

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"