Frozen Food Gourmet T-Shirts

'Today's specials are some wonderful things the chef does with 'Hungry Man Dinners'.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

His Her Cakes

French wine

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

To do before Saturday...

Too much cilantro

The Main Types of Cheese

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'