Soda Spill Survivor Gifts

"Look at this! This educational researcher says that the pipeline that carries girls from kindergarten to college is full of bright, ambitious young women. And that pipeline that carries boys is leaking. Badly."

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

"We won!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

The Alpha Seltzer

'Hole in one!!!!'

'How about joining us for a soda and pizza after the ceremony?'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

God in the bunker.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

I've been ordering a diet coke here every day for the last year. Do you admit that? Um

'Don't they look silly?'

Energy Drinks

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

They said he couldn't have a two-liter soda, and he just went crazy!

"These drinks are fun even after you've finished them."

"I hate this damn counter and, by the way, you stink."

"In this plant we bottle soft drinks, Tim, not our emotions."

"I hate sand traps."

Offering a golfer a spade.

A man ice fishing through a hole in the ice opened using a soda can pull tab.

Man watching a huge T.V., while eating a huge box of snacks and drinking a huge can of soda

Soda $1.00. You drive a hard bargain.

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

'Don't look now, Kellmyer, But your pants are in material breach.'

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

The menu said this soup is recommended for mature diners, and is rated "AFS." What does that stand for? "Adult fly situations."

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

"My dad doesn't give me enough credit. He thinks if I watch TV all day long the commercials will influence everything I do."

Four Weddings and a Funeral and a Bag of Popcorn and a Coke