Coffee Spill Survivors Gifts

ACME Vending LTD

The prying mantis,

Non-Power Breakfast

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

Too Much Coffee Man

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."

They say you can't go home again. They ought to know. They own the company.

Green Coffee

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

'And this is Mr Whittingstall...He's in charge of compliance.'

'This is a fine time to think we should have bought a houseboat!'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

'It beats getting up early and getting a worm.'

"Why - do I LOOK absorbent?"

'After the first few floods our insurance company insisted we future-proof the house.'

'Look, we were really misled about how cool you were...Would you mind sitting at another table?'

'Don't worry, the ground water here is clean.'

"Of course I remembered your tennis ball collection."

"I thought help would be here by now."

'Well - how'd the party go, after I left last night?'

"Not you, too, Larry. Pumpkin-flavored?"

'No, we're not capturing you for a bizarre sexual experiment. We thought you might like to come to our coffee morning.'

Flood

"Look at this! This educational researcher says that the pipeline that carries girls from kindergarten to college is full of bright, ambitious young women. And that pipeline that carries boys is leaking. Badly."

Men are like March, they come in like a lion and leave like a lamb.