Society Heavyweight Gifts

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"Gee, thanks pal."

Oligarchy

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

George Orwell

Bench Press Accident

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Biceps, muscles and brawn

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

Before the riots/after the riots

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

"How is it in Russia?"

Hudibras - 12 - Hudibras encounters the Skimmington.

Regardless children just want to fit in.

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

"A grand jury sitting in Terre Haute, Indiana, today handed up an indictment of society."

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

"At first I was a bit worried about the comeback of wolves in Europe. But I must admit that they had adapted well to living together with humans!"

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

" ... then subtract 75 pounds for the cat ... "

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'My problem is that I am an informed citizen.'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"Your Honor, we the jury blame the victim."

"It takes a while for technological advances to benefit everybody equally."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

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