Societal Restorer Gifts

Cleaning up the mess...

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

'They're just a few bored students with some vague ideology. They'll be gone and forgotten in no time.'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"See. . .? We did do something."

"On a clear night when the stars are twinkling over the city, I almost don’t mind that civilization collapsed."

'While they're still enthusiastic do you think we could get them to take on climate change and the war on drugs as well?'

'It's a silent protest.'

'It's official. We replace the words worn-out, old-fashion, and obsolete with classic, vintage and retro.'

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

Mick Jagger.

"I beg to differ."

"He's a hunter-gatherer-tinkerer-fixer-upper-restorer-reseller."

Old songs made new

"This is one of those subway stations they've restored to their original state."

'I'm dreaming of a white. . . err. . . I mean a more inclusive Christmas.'