Societal Expectations Gifts

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a fireman."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Sorry, these are saved."

'Well, what did you expect?'

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

"You mind if I smoke?"

'We've decided to give the baby a great start in the job market by naming him Doctor.'

"We've been trying on religion to see if it fits, and it does."

Yummy Mummy.

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

'What are they all staring at - have I got two heads or something?'

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

"Sorry, my mind was wandering. Were we complaining about today's youth, the government or the weather?"

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.