Societal Expectations T-Shirts

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a fireman."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

Psychiatry. My dad doesn't appreciate how hard it is to follow in his footsteps

"Sorry, these are saved."

'Well, what did you expect?'

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

Yummy Mummy.

'We've decided to give the baby a great start in the job market by naming him Doctor.'

"You mind if I smoke?"

"We've been trying on religion to see if it fits, and it does."

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

'What are they all staring at - have I got two heads or something?'

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

Me at 22 vs. me at 29

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.

Nekkid Ladies