Societal Expectations Humorist T-Shirts

'We've decided to give the baby a great start in the job market by naming him Doctor.'

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

The Ladies Who Lurch.

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'There is not a thing that medical science can do for you. Have you tried 'wishful thinking'?'

The Militant Unionist

"Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a fireman."

"..and this is where his lordship holds his balls and dances."

"Check it out, guys. Finally got my wine legs!"

Shy Man at Party

'Ever since she has found out that she is related to one of the Queen's corgis she has been unbearable.'

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"Oh, oh!!"

Unnecessary Surgery

'Hugo has short term memory loss but we've chosen to ignore it!'

"That was the vet - the cat's pregnant, not me."

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'It's a social-climbing wall.'

'I encourage natural childbirth - gently coaxing the baby into the world. If that fails, I go with brute force and intimidation.'

Sloane Ranger.

"Oh, my! Is that really me?"

Butler takes salmon from the family for the servants to eat

'Hi Dad... The good news is I've finally found a job...'

'The hunger pains are only one T.V. commercial apart.'

"No bellini for me. I'm being fuled by Xanax."

After Dinner Cigar.

"Whose cash are you calling idle?"

"He failed at hunting, and gathering was beneath him."

Knock that back please, I'm cleaning the crystal.

'You mean someone has been trying to steal your identity?'

'Ever since she found out she's realted to one of the Queen's Corgis...!'