Societal Expectations Humorist Pillows

'We've decided to give the baby a great start in the job market by naming him Doctor.'

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"We're going to build in Rhinebeck, once Steven finds the right brick."

The Ladies Who Lurch.

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'There is not a thing that medical science can do for you. Have you tried 'wishful thinking'?'

"Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a fireman."

The Militant Unionist

"..and this is where his lordship holds his balls and dances."

Shy Man at Party

"Check it out, guys. Finally got my wine legs!"

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

'Ever since she has found out that she is related to one of the Queen's corgis she has been unbearable.'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"Oh, oh!!"

Unnecessary Surgery

'Hugo has short term memory loss but we've chosen to ignore it!'

'It's a social-climbing wall.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'I encourage natural childbirth - gently coaxing the baby into the world. If that fails, I go with brute force and intimidation.'

Sloane Ranger.

'The hunger pains are only one T.V. commercial apart.'

'Hi Dad... The good news is I've finally found a job...'

Butler takes salmon from the family for the servants to eat

"Oh, my! Is that really me?"

'You mean someone has been trying to steal your identity?'

"He failed at hunting, and gathering was beneath him."

After Dinner Cigar.

Knock that back please, I'm cleaning the crystal.

"Whose cash are you calling idle?"

'Ever since she found out she's realted to one of the Queen's Corgis...!'

"They're Karl Lagerfeld's cat's furballs."