Social Expectations Skeptic Pillows

"A teddy bear? You need better toys! Or the other kids won't like you!"

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

The Mainstream

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

All-Purpose Obamatoon

'Typical man...too stubborn to stop and ask for directions.'

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

A man without a chicken on his head!

*Sigh*

"Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a fireman."

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'Well, what did you expect?'

'Really! - you have an aim in life - how quaint!'

Conformity

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

'We've decided to give the baby a great start in the job market by naming him Doctor.'

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

Yummy Mummy.

Psychiatry. I'm starting to take it personally when people say we have a representative government.

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

"Please excuse, Tom, Mom and Dad! He's worked the last ten years in a large city hospital and has no practice with chit chat!"

Man cold medicine.

Your dire prediction in this space. 1-555-826-1000

"I'm bringing litigation against everyone who is responsible for my overly demanding socialization."

"We really must be going. Phillip has an uncanny sense of when to leave a party."

'Are you eligible to join 'Miser' the high accrue society?'

Nobody keeps his personal life to himself anymore phobia. 'Seems like everone's coming out of the closet!'

IQ Test: If it's on Facebook it must be true