Socializer In Chief Pillows

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

Quiz Night...

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

Beer Garden Kit

"Practicing my hate-face."

What sort of society would we have if everybody put public interest ahead of government interest?

Blind Justice with Missiles instead of Scales.

"Would you like to be notified by text when I'm bored and want to go home?"

"I finally lost a few ounces with my activity tracker. I took it off."

'I gained many useful leads, renewed relationships with various potential customers and established a number of contacts...'

The Devil's advocaat.

"That's what I love about the game - it's so social."

"I'll have a Bloody Mary. And bring a Witch Hazel and tonic for the little woman."

Getting old...

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

"I'm Generation Z. Nice to meet you."

"Every bar has its obnoxious drunk."

'I wish my wife would stop playing mind games with me. I'm tired of losing.'

It's called 'Pretentious.' It tastes like crap, but it's $100 per bottle!

"Of all the lazy, lowdown, deadbeat, pathetic losers you've ever met who had the most influence on you?"

"I moved here just six months ago and already I'm part of the local color."

Arthur Scargill

"David! It's only trendy to drink beer straight from the bottle!"

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'

"I've learned not to listen to critics who are right about me."

Running on Empty

"Through our organization, we hope to eliminate poverty, illiteracy, hunger, blindness, hangnails, red tide, bad hats, and comb overs. Our motto: Focus and Achieve."

Wasn't sure why, or even what it meant, but sometimes he just needed to make his presence felt.

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

'I'm going to have a few drinks with the guys...don't wait up for me.'