Office Socializer Pillows

"Re toxing Dave"

Wasn't sure why, or even what it meant, but sometimes he just needed to make his presence felt.

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'I'm actually sick enough to have called in, but who wants to miss a Friday at work'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

Quiz Night...

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

Communication

"I finally lost a few ounces with my activity tracker. I took it off."

"Your cubicle is fun, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I was invited to Jim's cubicle."

Beer Garden Kit

"Would you like to be notified by text when I'm bored and want to go home?"

'I gained many useful leads, renewed relationships with various potential customers and established a number of contacts...'

The Devil's advocaat.

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."

Getting old...

"Ignoring your workmates is NOT a breach of the new antisocial behaviour laws."

"I gotta log off, guys - I just encountered some malicious spyware."

Live water cooler.

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

University Challenged

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

"Being nice to people on the way up didn't work!"

"I’ve only been able to find movies, music, and restaurants that I kind of like using apps, but I’m hoping they’ll lead me to the love of my life."

"I prefer working remotely, except when there's a free lunch."

"You ruin every virtual party we go to!"

"I thought we were soul mates, too, so imagine my surprise to find that my actual soul mate is Nicole in accounting."

"I'm Generation Z. Nice to meet you."

'I wish my wife would stop playing mind games with me. I'm tired of losing.'

'Your drink, madam. Courtesy of the gentlemen at the bar.'