Social Scene Investigator Gifts

"He's old money, but, unfortunately, minus the money."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"True crime meets reality TV"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Bribery and Corruption.

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

Newton's Law and Order.

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"I couldn't finish that book either."

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'We've got a new DNA database...'

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

'Not...one...drop.'

Bureau of Missing Persons

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

Sewee-Cide.