Social Satire Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Dan didn't trust babies."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Why are you so obsessed about who looks at this cartoon."

Politically Correct Snowperson

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

'Oh no! The sharp elbowed middle class!'

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"But how many followers do you have?"

"This is my 'country house.' I also have a duplex in the city."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

Planet of the Ants

'Plastic surgeon' - 'Gift a give certificate to your ugly friends'

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

'He was too chatty. I don't like small talk. Too much gibber, not enough jabber.'

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."