Social Norms Humorist Gifts

'How was I meant to know it was only for men?'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

"Sorry, these are saved."

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

'We've decided to give the baby a great start in the job market by naming him Doctor.'

"You mind if I smoke?"

"We've been trying on religion to see if it fits, and it does."

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

'What are they all staring at - have I got two heads or something?'

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

'Naughty or nice? - I suppose you mean by White male standards, right?'

Two Men Dining.

Male nudist whistles at a woman in a bikini.

Woke Christmas - Consent form hanging next to a bunch of mistletoe.

Nekkid Ladies