Social Networking Savant Pillows

"Dad's business seminar must involve farming mom, he just checked into a place called The Chicken Ranch!"

Giraffe Selfie

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Online Dating

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

All the apps hidden within a phone

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Victorian Selfie

"#notguilty."

Early Learning Today

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

"#BeCurious"

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

If Watergate Happened Now the Press Would Be Too Busy Reporting on Tweets

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

Social Media

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

"I don't mind the punishment, Mother, but I don't want to see this on YouTube!"

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

American Roulette

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

Harold Pinterest