Social Media Savants Pillows

"Woo! Three new followers!"

"What did you do to waste time before social media?"

"I saw this video where a half eater American looks exactly the same after being left out for 6 months."

"Calm down. He's saying Wet The Floor."

"And this is Paul - he's in charge of our TikToks..."

Lynching on social media

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Digital Fomo!

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Selfie Stick

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Giraffe Selfie

Obsession with the Internet.

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Online Dating

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Trick or Tweet

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"She looks just like in your photos."

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"#BeCurious"

Victorian Selfie