Social Media Survivor Pillows

'Didn't you see the tweet? The sky is falling!'

"Life was beautiful. Then I read the comments."

"Whatever you say, a month without connectivity has been a great detox."

"For my 15 minutes of fame I've gotten 60 days of social media abuse."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Digital Fomo!

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

Trick or Tweet

Ice shelfie.

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

tRUMp, Pirate President

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

"She looks just like in your photos."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Facebook For Dogs.