Social Media Escapist Pillows

"Mom, I can't take the stress of social media. I'm running away from my home page!"

"Log into nature"

'I've stopped blogging myself: Frankly, the life of a Hermit Crab is not that exciting...'

'It's so refreshing to meet someone who doesn't blog.'

"Your dad doesn't want to see or hear any comments on his social media page. Please explain to him how to turn them off."

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

Cyber Dream

Cat Asleep on a Computer.

"When catch-up TV finally catches up"

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Hot Towel Web Service

"At last - no Trump."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

"Gee... A wide screen, high-definition TV with Stereo-Gasm Sound and over 500 channels! It's almost like having a life!"

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

What's with our son? For once he's not online. I dealt with him. He's steaming mad. What did you do? I handled his addiction to texting, IM-ing, games and Facebook with calm maturity. Dad! Where did you hide my laptop?!! Modern maturity.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"You know what you're running here, Lou? You're running a haven, that's what you're running here, Lou."

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."