Social Media Manager's Nightmare Pillows

"I'm on a social media diet. I'm giving up tweets."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Lynching on social media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

CEO with SEO

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

Likes: $2.

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Press Freedom

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"#Win!"

Superheroes take a selfie

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

Networking

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

The Proust of Twitter

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'