Social Media Executive Pillows

Facebook shareholders want to take out Zuckerberg

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Lynching on social media

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Welcome to the future"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

CEO with SEO

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

This Message Has No Content

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."