Social Media Hater Gifts

"This app is guaranteed to help you stop wasting time. It turns off all your social media accounts."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

The Proust of Twitter

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'I hate Mondays.'

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"Fact amnesty"

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'Twitter for goldfish.'

Social media and censorship...

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

Like.

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

#notblessed

Facelook

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

'Oh good! - I hate long lines!'

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

'So, summing up: we 'like' you and you 'like' us.'

Facebook/Cambridge Analytica Scandal

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."