Social Media Snubbers Gifts

'Don't take it personally. Bob doesn't like anybody. He even unfriended himself on Facebook.'

Hate Platforms

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

City Marathon.

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

Chasebook

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

Elon Musk Ditches Twitter Logo

"Respect the park's Natural beauty. No Instagram filters."

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

"Reading social media, I almost miss grammar, spelling and punctuation"

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

#notblessed

Facelook

'After analyzing 5 petabytes of Facebook data and 800 million tweets we were able to conclude that our customers are idiots.'

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

Facebook/Cambridge Analytica Scandal

USA 2030

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."