Social Humorist Gifts

"I spend most of my time fund-raising."

"You have to be sensitive to the fact that other children are inferior to you."

"I'd like you to meet Nan and Leo, but I think you already know Nan from back when it was Nan and Ralph."

"The point is, Hutchens, a younger man could jump higher."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Refusing to shake hands

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Two Men Dining.

'Oh... and this must be the little lady.'

'Show-off!'

'Yak, yak, yak...' Man disappears.

'Naughty or nice? - I suppose you mean by White male standards, right?'

'It's so hard getting seated here... would you care to join me and my friends?'

'By the way, I usually sneeze in twos. So that's another interesting thing about me.'

"A lot of people say that absence is my best feature."

"Now remember Gerard, don't stare. Enid's aged since you last saw her and a little self-conscious about her crow's feet."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

UK/US Free Trade Deal

They're Not Just That Into It

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

No-Work Orange

"Gee, thanks pal."

Trump! The Musical

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"