Social Gathering Skeptics Pillows

'I don't know about you but this is the last Fireman's Ball that I go to!'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

The prying mantis,

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

The devil you know and his plus one

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Glyndebourne

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

'I don't think we're devoted to the Lord. I think we're devoted to dessert.'

Playing cards.

"God help us, it's that guy."

Shall I be mother?

"I rushed here from surgery. I didn't have time to get into costume."

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

Caricatures of Political Figures Exhibited at the Opera Ball

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"Oh, Lord! Not another wine-and-cheese party!"

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

Being Pampered.

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"