Meeting Skeptics Pillows

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

Welcome. National Association of People Padding their Resumes with National Associations. And I think you'll agree, our pointless seminars have some really great titles this year!

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

"I see that you're very concerned about the rise of AI technology."

"The 'Age of the Computer'? We get a pencil on a piece of string!"

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"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin..."

"Hmmm. I'm gonna have to Google this."

I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

"For cryin' out loud, are you signing up or not?"

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

The first meeting.

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."

"Anything with amazon, I hear they treat their workforce like robots."

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

"I didn't live through a global pandemic just so I could group hug again!"

"You snored through the whole motivational seminar."

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

"Podcasts, blech. It's like eavesdropping without the intrigue."

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"