Social Climber Enthusiast T-Shirts

"A penthouse on Central Park West . . . not bad for a second-tier private-school kid from a postwar co-op on Riverside Drive, eh?"

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Yummy Mummies

"Back when I was your age the only way to get a promotion was kissing butt."

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"This is fun. I'm usually kind of a loner."

Rubbish and Everest

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

"Hang on—I dropped my car keys."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"I can't give enlightenment, only great calves."

Sir Edmund Hillary Arriving Home To His Third Floor Apartment

'What I wouldn't give to be a lager lout again!'

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

If you rotate the corporate ladder by 90 degrees, you end up with monkey bars.

A fish jumping from a tank that reads "Tropical fish $5.00" into a tank that reads "Tropical fish $20.00"

'Why are you people following me?'

Mountaineering - Library book shelfs

"'Meaning'? Hahahahaha..."

Lady having her hair dyed

"I hate to break it to you guys, but it's kinda the same up here as it is down there."

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

Never Apologize for Being Yourself

'Words of wisdom? OK, how about, next time take the elevator.'

'Make me look like I own the latest Apple technology.'

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

'The secret of life, son, is finding a better hiding place than I did.'

'Not bad for a poor kid from Munich eh?'

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

"Yeah of course, I'm sure-footed too, but abseiling is still the safest way to get down..."