Social Climber Humor T-Shirts

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Yummy Mummies

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"Who's next?"

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

'What I wouldn't give to be a lager lout again!'

Lady having her hair dyed

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

A fish jumping from a tank that reads "Tropical fish $5.00" into a tank that reads "Tropical fish $20.00"

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

"Because we're jerks."

"I want you to treat this for what it is, Miss Garlands, a dirty weekend and not a step up the promotion ladder!"

'Not bad for a poor kid from Munich eh?'

"What do I do when I get to the top?"

There's no way you could have attained Nirvana already — you don't even have hemorrhoids yet.

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

“Can you show us something that will make our friends envious, but not too envious?”

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'Forget doctors, dear — marry an HMO manager!'

Stone Age Bicycle Rack

'Are you sure you want the party sub? I mean are you sure? Are you buying it for someone else or something???'

"Keeping up with the Joneses wasn't a problem, but keeping up with the Buffetts did me in!"

"Well,I'm not sure that I do want you to marry my daughter.I mean..What are your prospects?"

'Shallow, so you think I'm shallow do you? Just because I happen to think my career is important, that my car matters and that clothes make a difference.'

'It's a social-climbing wall.'

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

'It would make people say Mr Barnes must be doing real good with his cows if he can buy his son a new bike.'

'Look, a pair of mountaineers: Looks like they're really struggling on the easy cliff-face...'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'