Soccer Stylist Pillows

A woman wearing a football pitch hat

"Quickly! Call the hair stylist!"

Bad hair day!

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Shoe addict.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"I don't like your application."

The Young Ladies' Young Gentleman

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Dolores is so avant garde.

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'