Soccer Strategy Genius Gifts

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

Carlo Ancelotti

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

'Since the playing field was sold off we've become a centre of excellence for one-a-side football.'

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

'Verily, we wuz robbed!'

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

"Jim was a model Dad".

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

Football anagrams: Victoria do rule (Answer: Olivier Dacourt)

Praying for a goal assist.

Football Bomb

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'